myflagisblackandred:

It was the summer of 1997 in the Sonoran Desert, as monsoon clouds retreated and allowed our father sun to cast an amber film onto the dampened and clouded highway, when the canvas of the landscape dabbed a freckle of orange and white onto its horizon. Intrigued, I straightened my back and folded away the sun visor in front of me. As our car approached this strange body in the distance, and as landscape’s freckle grew to an intentional, colorful piece of jewelry on her body, I came to identify this as a vehicle approaching ours in the opposite direction. Excitement surged through my nerves for I recognized that we were, in fact, getting closer to this mysterious beauty. This mosaic, now showing us of checkered stripes of black, splashes of blue, and splatters of green, rushed eagerly towards my eyes.  Excitement gave way to anxiety. Will I have any time to stop, tilt my head to the side, and digest this art piece, framed on this studio wall at 70 miles per hour? Will I have a minute, a second, or even an instant to let my eyes do this beauty justice? Before I could brace my eyes for our moment together, the sacred vehicle left me with only its wind and retreating figure in my rearview mirror as evidence of its existence. But in that holy instant, my retinas caught and imprinted one single word among that masterpiece of text and color: UHAUL.

Many things have changed since that day. Three presidents, several wars, two international economic crises. There isn’t of my life in 1997 that remains with me today. But on that day on the highway, that truck left me with a self-discovery since unmatched: I am destined to become a UHAUL employee.

I hope in this application, you will reach a similar conclusion.

Sincerely,

[Raquel] Velasquez

If there’s one thing that the recession and utter hopelessness at anybody ever finding a job has been good for, it’s that there’s been a massive surge in piss taking cover letters on my dash of late. I approve of this.